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FYI
May 8, 2002
What’s Sexy Now: Oral Sex on the School Bus
The Big O pulled out all the stops yesterday. She and
Dr. Phil hit the subject of teen sexuality head-on. Sending
underage children out to play, Oprah warned listeners that she
would use graphic, explicit language – and she did.
The masterful Dr. Phil didn’t win the day, and
the Big O knew it. Yes, the audience cheered and mothers
felt better, as Dr. Phil admonished young people to respect
themselves by not engaging in oral sex in our What’s
Sexy Now world.
The kids won.
In the Big O’s words: "The most important thing
that I heard is that ‘a good night kiss is a bigger deal
than oral sex.’"
The issue isn’t that we’ve moved from 1960’s
petting to recreational sex among 13 year-olds. The change is
that these very normal young teens, with concerned mothers,
looked Dr. Phil eyeball to eyeball and said: "Sucking a
boy’s penis isn’t sex."
Sorry readers, but those were the words. And Dr. Phil shot back
to young women: "If you think that getting down on your
knees in a urine-splattered bathroom and sucking a guy’s
penis isn’t sex, you’re dead wrong. It’s degrading
and humiliating."
Yes, some of the kids said the "right thing" by show’s
end. And some of the girls were actually surprised when the
boys said that they wouldn’t introduce them to their mothers.
Bottom line though, the kids won. Eyeball to eyeball, they reflected
the culture around them and stood their ground. Sex sells and
the kids are consumers.
It’s as simple as that.
I made a Lifestyle Presentation in Bentonville last August and
covered up the private parts of the naked Abercrombie kids at
the request of then VP of Sam’s Club Marketing Rhonda Harper.
Last week, I apologized to my corporate audience before showing
Irving Penn’s exquisite nudes of large-size women as part
of a Design Presentation. I offered viewers the option of closing
their eyes in sync with the music.
Why, I’m not sure, because we’re the adults.
I encourage all of you to visit Oprah’s website and listen
to yesterday’s show online. You will need Real Player or
Flash. I’m really not on a mission here, but in our new
Truth Serum world, I will connect the dots for you.
To Oprah
Does parental responsibility have limits?
The Christian Science Monitor cites an attitude of entitlement
among today’s tweens, a situation that creates a financial
bonanza for marketers. "With more parents working, and
their schedules stretched thin, guilt has settled over American
households."
I’ve heard this argument before, right after reading that
Boomer parents have become more strict than their own –
simply because they’re much wiser to the choices confronting
their children.
Video game manufacturer’s argue that parental authority
is sufficient to control a child’s exposure to Disney
Effect sex and violent content. California congressman Joe
Baca wants to make it a federal crime to rent or sell video
games showing violence, prostitution and drug use to anyone
under the age of 17, without parental consent. 21 other members
of Congress have signed on to bill H.R.4645.
The power of persuasion
At the heart of the argument is a growing body of evidence,
not around connections between video game violence and real
life. Over 1000 studies cite a solid connection. Many hundreds
less reject the connection, according to an earlier FYI article.
This week’s Economist looks at a new approach to persuasion
– "one that works on removing people’s inhibitions,
or lowering their resistance." This is a must-read article
for marketers – and mothers, too. As the Economist points
out, in this new Truth Serum world, we’ll all be
hipper to the real dynamic between the advertiser/marketer and
consumer. No one is saying that consumers won’t be active
participants. We’ll just be smarter about the dynamic.
Just Say No!
Abstinence is at the forefront of the Bush Administration argument
that teens, especially teen girls, can standup to the "powers
of persuasion that work on removing people’s inhibitions,
or lowering their resistance" when it comes to sexual matters.
I agree with the abstinence challenge.
But saying "no" is complicated, as the NYTimes pointed
out in this morning’s editorial, criticising our UN-related
move to limit access to sex education and reproductive health
services. None means "nothing", including in those
countries where virgins are routinely pressured into active
sexual service because they are AIDS free.
MSNBC points out that "saying no" is a big problem
in parts of What’s Sexy Now Europe, where thousands
of women are routinely sold or kidnapped into sexual slavery.
The MSNBC online series is excellent, hard-hitting investigative
journalism, representing months of clandestine interviews and
intense research.
Somebody needs to hear you say "No."
I reject stereotypes of all kinds, but I will tell you that
I’ve had more than one Just Say No experience in
life. The MSNBC article reminded me of the time I rejected the
adamant and almost hostile advances of a Slavic man at Maxwell’s
Plum in New York. He became so angry when I Just Said No
that he yanked me off my chair. Not wanting to cause a scene
in such a then-hip and happening place as Maxwell’s Plum,
I went outside onto the sidewalk and told him to stop cursing
at me.
Not liking the word No, this man took a swing at me,
right in front of Maxwell’s Plum. Thank goodness I had
one of those cute 70s Gucci-style handbags with the wooden handle.
When the blow struck, he cut clean through the wooden handle,
and only cracked my ribs, rather than breaking them. Two men
from IBM rushed out onto the street, got him off me and took
me to New York Hospital. Bottom line: I believe MSNBC
If you feel that you need a stiff dose of Purification
at this moment, you may be relieved to hear that the Bush administration
will announce today new guidelines for same-sex schooling, taking
another look at Title IX that bans gender discrimination.
The Third Way
Just in case we think that same-sex anything is the panacea
for what concerns us, remember that increases in binge-drinking
are highest at all-girls colleges. However, I believe that the
notion of gender-based Separate But Equal will emerge
as a serious alternative, not just in schooling, but in the
workplace. This "solution" is close to declaring itself
the eighth big-picture Leading Indicators trend.
Separate But Equal is pragmatic in a society not know
for its pragmatism. Take our choice of marital partners. The
Rutgers Marriage Project documents the fact that today’s
singles are searching for soul mates. Psychology Today reminds
us that "a few crucial compatibilities make the difference
between making up and breaking up." But America is a "love
culture", and we believe that passion is our truest guide
– which is why Just Saying No is such a challenge.
Rather than being clueless in how best to choose a life partner,
help is on the way. Tests, workbooks and counselling may help
in reducing the end of 55% of all first American marriages.
Goodbye Mayberry Moms
Reuters reported that yesterday’s AFL-CIO "Ask a Working
Woman Survey 2002" found that 66 percent of working moms
work 40 or more hours per week, compared with 60 percent of
women without children.
More than one out of four working mothers works nights or weekends
and two out of five working mothers work different schedules
than their husbands or partner. Overall, 63 percent of women
work 40 or more hours per week - a slight increase from 60 percent
in the 2000 AAWW survey.
I haven’t had time to read the survey, but you can download
it with me by following the link to the AFL-CIO site.
Longer Hours and Declining Day Care: A Winning Combination
Working Mother calls overall child-care quality in America Unacceptable,
and warns us that the situation won’t improve in our current
economy and renewed emphasis on defense spending.
And Mom, while you’re digesting the Truth Serum
facts on daycare in America, read the new CNN study that bolsters
a six-point link between nine months of breast-feeding and improved
IQ in children. Of course, this study was done in Scandinavia,
where excellent daycare and mother-support is a given. Did you
know that fully 50% (in round numbers) of the legislative seats
in Scandinavia are held by women?
Now for some good news
Go Meg! I bought my new 12-month-old Powerbook on e-Bay, and
it was a hoot. I visited the new Prada store on Broadway last
winter, and was bidding on e-Bay via cell phone at the same
time. Everything went splendidly. The laptop is perfect and
the price superb.
In another twist of the Design Democracy trend, Meg ponders
how high eBay can go. The NYTimes asks the ultimate question:
"just how much business can truly be done by people in
attics and garages?" I say "big money".
Raj Mahal is Sexy Now
India is hot! The Times calls it Bollywood Chic or Kitsch with
a Niche. And what is very sexy is the newly released Kamasutra,
rewritten from a woman’s point of view. I think we can
use some ancient Hindu inspiration this week.
Depression Can Be Good
Lastly, I have good news and bad news – or is it bad news
and good news? I’m not sure. The Truth Serum news
about prescription drugs for depression, which we women take
in megadoses in pursuit of a Disney Effect existence,
is that they really work – as well as sugar pills. Yes,
maam, according to the Washington Post: "After thousands
of studies, hundreds of millions of prescriptions and tens of
billions of dollars in sales, two things are certain about pills
that treat depression: Antidepressants like Prozac, Paxil and
Zoloft work. And so do sugar pills."
Okay, but depending on how you look at it, depression can be
goodl Mildly depressed women are living longer. CNN reports
that we are talking about mildly-depressed women. Seriously
depressed women have increased mortality rates. So if, you can
just stay mildly depressed, after reading this week’s FYI,
you’ll be fine.
To insure this, I’ve spared you Warren Buffett’s weekend
Truth Serum report to stockholders that a nuclear bomb
or severe biological attack against New York or Washington is
a virtual certainty – could be 10 minutes or 10 years but
it will happen absolutely. That the quintessential Goodbye
Mayberry event.
As for me, I’m over it. No Prozac for me. I’m going
shopping!
Linda Enke, FYI
To learn
more about our seven key trends and Compass subscription newsletter,visit
the Leading Indicators website.
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Christian
Science Monitor
Family,
Parents' guilt+kids' costly ways+big allowances 5-6-02
With more parents
working, and their schedules stretched thin, guilt has settled over
American households, and the fallout is a financial bonanza for
tweens. Today's tweens were raised on the mantra of parent-child
communication and media images of youth consumerism – which
stoke a thriving sense of entitlement, say experts. It's a demographic
primed to ask for more."
CNN
'Declaring
'Warcraft' on sales to kids 5-7-02
A
California congressman wants to make it a federal crime to rent
or sell video games showing violence, prostitution and drug use
to anyone under the age of 17 without parental consent.
Economist
Persuasion
5-02-02
Your
correspondent was not sure whether to write this piece. But Eric
Knowles, a professor of social psychology at the University of Arkansas,
was very convincing. He said that he had experimental evidence to
support a new approach to persuasion—one that works on removing
people's inhibitions, or lowering their resistance.
NYTimes
Editorial
Young
Women At Risk 5-8-02
United
Nations special sessions may not cure the ills they address, but
they should at least not push the world backward. The session on
children that opens today threatens to do that because the Bush
administration wants to limit the access of teenage girls to sex
education and reproductive health services, even though they are
at special risk of contracting AIDS. The administration prefers
a standard that emphasizes abstinence, which has not proved effective
in the United States at delaying sexual activity.
MSNBC
Sex
Slaves in Europe 5-7-02
Olga winced
as she drew back the bandage on her right breast, revealing an infected
puncture wound that hadn’t healed since a man bit her in a
fit of sexual rage. But the wound, for which the 19-year-old Moldovan
lacked even basic medicine, is only a small part of Olga’s
daily agony. For more than a year she has been held as a sex slave
in this town in western Macedonia, where human trafficking flourishes
and young girls are forced to endure the sexual whims of thousands
of men.
Christian
Science Monitor
Feds
Boost Same-Sex Schooling 5-8-02
For 30 years,
any attempts to teach boys and girls separately in public schools
have been shadowed –- and in many cases blocked – by Title
IX, the federal mandate that bans gender discrimination.
Psychology
Today
Love
Is Not All You Need 6-02
The
experience of love is unique for every person, and using that feeling
to measure the potential success of a relationship is even more
subjective. Nonetheless, at some point most of us face the timeless
question of what makes a relationship work. Though we can’t
quantify love, we can look at variables that help us choose the
right partner. Research shows that a few crucial compatibilities
make the difference between making up and breaking up. We are a
love culture. Unlike some societies that think of passionate love
as a nuisance that can undermine sound reasoning about whom and
when to marry, we think passion is our truest guide.
Christian
Science Monitor
Finding
the Path to a Lasting Relationship 5-08-02
In homes across
America – indeed, around the globe – couples are splitting
up. The data on divorce tell all: 55 percent of all first marriages
in the US end in separation or divorce, 65 percent of second marriages
do, 75 percent of third, and so on. So Elizabeth Taylor, while perhaps
the world's most famous divorcée, is in pretty good company.
It all comes down to ignorance; people have never been taught how
to intelligently choose a life partner. It's probably the most significant
decision of their lives, and they are essentially clueless.
AFL-CIO
Ask
a Working Woman Survey 5-7-02
On this
Mother's Day, the 2002 "Ask A Working Woman" (AAWW) survey
has found that 66 percent of working moms work 40 or more hours
per week compared with 60 percent of women without children.
More than one out of four working mothers works nights or weekends
and two out of five working mothers work different schedules than
their husbands or partner. Overall, 63 percent of women work 40
or more hours per week - a slight increase from 60 percent in the
2000 AAWW survey.
Working Mother
Overall
Child-care Quality: Unacceptable 5-05-02
Despite
political rhetoric emphasizing the importance of America’s
children and families, the quality of child care remains drastically
uneven across the country, with many youngsters attending poor to
mediocre centers that are understaffed, underregulated, and costly.
And it’s unlikely that parents will see large-scale improvements
soon: The slowing of the economy and a renewed emphasis on defense
spending have once again put expanded child-care funding initiatives
on the back burner.
CNN
Study
bolsters link between breast-feeding, intelligence 5-7-02
In
their study of 3,253 Danish men and women, the more babies were
breast-fed through nine months of age, the higher they scored on
intelligence tests in their late teens and 20s. Breast-feeding past
nine months had no additional effect on scores.
Those who had been breast-fed for seven to nine months scored an
average of about six points higher on IQ tests than those whose
mothers said they nursed for less than one month.
NYTimes
Meg
Whitman and eBay, Net Survivors 5-5-02
During
the Internet boom, the precise and low-key Ms. Whitman was upstaged
by flamboyant technologists and entrepreneurial visionaries in other
companies. But eBay's diverse and ornery community of buyers and
sellers provided all the color the company needed, as well as its
engine of growth and the source of the auction fees that made it
profitable from the start. As it turned out, what eBay — like
a lot of dot-coms — needed most was the sort of disciplined
management practiced by Ms. Whitman, now 45. She steered clear of
many seemingly lucrative opportunities, and instead kept eBay focused
on nurturing its trading community, expanding its ranks and the
scope of goods it deals in.
So as eBay ponders how high it can go, the ultimate question is
just how much business can truly be done by people in attics and
garages.
NYTimes
Kitsch
with a Niche: Bollywood Chic Finds a Home 5-05-02
Since
the 1960's, India's chief cultural export has been spiritualism,
embodied in a pantheon of leaders from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi to
Gurumayi and Deepak Chopra. Today, the exports are more showily
crowd-pleasing, arriving in the form of film-inspired fashions,
home décor and foods. Once such goods were marketed mainly
to Indian-Americans, whose numbers have more than doubled since
1990, to almost 1.7 million. Now they are finding an avid non-Indian
audience. Style-struck New Yorkers are embracing Bollywood style,
which they once might have dismissed as kitsch.
NYTimes
A new Kama Sutra Without Victorian Veils 5-4-02
Generations
of readers have pored over the Kama Sutra, the ancient Hindu text
of erotic love, scanning it, sometimes furtively, for descriptions
of exotic sexual practices. But now a new translation offers a radically
different view of the famous sex manual, and argues that the most
widely read English version is riddled with errors and plays down
the role of women.
Washington
Post
Against
Depression, a Sugar Pill Is Hard to Beat 5-7-02
After
thousands of studies, hundreds of millions of prescriptions and
tens of billions of dollars in sales, two things are certain about
pills that treat depression: Antidepressants like Prozac, Paxil
and Zoloft work. And so do sugar pills.
CNN
Study
finds mildly depressed women live longer 5-1-02
Mildly
depressed older women tend to live longer than those who are not
depressed at all, a surprising new study suggests.
The findings are contrary to most other studies on the link between
depression and mortality. Those studies have generally shown that
depression increases the likelihood of death within a certain time
period.
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